Turns out those letters were faked so he could get his sister and niece into the country. He offered to show me all the documents but I said he didn't need to. I don't really care.

There's plenty more I could write, but I don't particulary feel like it. I could reason why I did what I did, why I'm still upset, and a bunch of other shit...but I'm done for right now.

One last thing...Eben has "practice what you preach!" on his MSN messenger. I put on mine "don't mistake preaching for what someone only wishes they were stupid enough to practice to avoid pain". I don't know if he's referring to me not practicing my "ignorance is bliss" quote or because I've lied about Gabe. I don't particularly care. My honesty with him about all my flaws greatly outweighs that...not to mention I told him I had never been faithful to anyone. I don't care if that sounds like an excuse, he's even better at making them, especially last night. I am not as fucking delicate as he thinks I am...its not his words that hurt me, it's his actions. That he has failed to see that I would accept the truth of why he did it had he not hidden it in the first place, that it does not bother me him trying to get his family in the country, baffles me. He doesn't know me at all. It makes me feel so low, him thinking I was bad enough of a person to think that what he was doing is wrong.

So much for me only saying one more thing...but anyway, I don't really care if any of you judge me for snooping, or for calling him on his lies (also the saved IM conversations, and that night) or any other shit. I don't care. Judge me all you fucking want. At least I've admitted I'm not trustworthy. I have not come out and talked about how fucking "open" I am and then done this. I was honest about my past, all the fucked up shit...the least he could have done was be honest back. He can tell me all the bullshit he wants about treating me delicately, or the fact that I'm a woman so "I can't handle it". BULLSHIT. He's a man and he's already proven that he can't handle the truth.

Okay, done now. Off to go nap and pray that this nausea is from stress and not something else.

EDITED: Oh, and my diary came up on Google for better fucking. Ha. Oh, and I'm also still paranoid about who's reading my diary and trying to figure out what each person's ISP is...all is right with the world...