Yep, another entry. I talked to Eben online, he had the quote "anytime you sin think about hell" which kind of creeped me out...I asked about it, and he thought I had done something to feel guilty about (ha, like I feel guilty about anything I've done at this point) and I said no, it was the other way around. I said we'd talk about it when he got home...so he's probably anxious, which is good, as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, and Gabe called. He said he called a couple of days ago, but I didn't pick up. Stupid cell phone...anyway...he asked how things were with Eben and I told him what I'd found out...he said he was sorry but I heard a light laugh. I brought up how it was what he (Gabe) had done to me all over again...but he was like "but at least I was divorced"! Ha...very true. You know what's funny though? Gabe always said if he called once and I didn't pick up, then that was it, no more calling. Seems he can't let go...and he's not the only one. I've been thinking about him the past few days...too much actually. And when he called there were butterflies in my stomach...figures. And the saga with Gabe continues...

I hate that I want to cry right now. Even Gabe told me that I would (hell, I was an emotional train wreck while we were together...) but I'm not about to. No fucking way. HE'S going to be the one feeling like shit, not me. I don't fucking care that I shouldn't have been looking through his shit, this is one of those fucking things you just don't do to someone. I'm fucking living with him and where is his wife? His little girl? Still in Ghana, barely scraping by? Or where else?

Getting off my pedestal now. I need to calm down before he gets home. Ha. Me? Calm down? That would be something new...