So, one well-rounded meal yesterday, a b/p this morning, and an apple later I took laxatives. So, hopefully 20 will work. I really don't know my tolerance to them anymore.

Anyway, dinner with my aunt went better than expected, and we went to Barnes and Noble after that and got a bunch of books, which made me happy...then went to Kristina's to FINALLY give her her birthday present. Eben told me I should go out but I didn't, fully knowing I'd either be bored out of my mind or end up doing something stupid...so, after Kristina's, I resisted the urge to go to a club and stayed home. Go me.

I hope these laxes work, I need that so much right now. Focusing on that will be so much easier than thinking about what happened with Gabe, or the trip to D.C. I haven't told Eben about yet (haven't emailed them back yet either, too nervous about it I think). I know losing weight isn't the answer to everything, but as far as I'm concerned it's a start. It's better than where I am right now.

I wish Eben were here. I missed him so much last night, and he sounded so sad when he called me this morning. Said he'd been thinking about me a lot. I nearly cried...I don't deserve him. I really, truly don't. And that is why, I, Katy, am going to be 100 pounds by Halloween. I know I can do it...and I will. No exceptions.

You are bulimia nervosa, or Mia. Ana's twin sister,
you are a diety of despair and pain.
Self-hatred is your specialty.


Which Eating Disorder Are You?
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