I had a panic attack driving to Pearland and got lost...figures. So now I'm back at home, waiting. Nino was supposed to call me and meet up with me over at Surf Shack, but I get the feeling I'm being ditched...and Gabe is still out in Galveston, with his friend who is completely fucked up and is the one driving. But, he's supposed to call me back in 30 minutes and let me know what's going on...

Fuck! Why do I want to see him so badly? Feel him kiss me, his body pressed against me...fuck! Yep, haha, that's exactly it. Fuck. That's what I want to do, that's what I want to be doing NOW! I haven't seen Gabe since July 4th weekend, and it would be so good...so fucking good...

Of course I still love the bastard, but that's beside the point. I could care less if we talk at all...damn...I really am a bad person aren't I? I'm living with Eben, he's still with Katie (oh, the irony of him cheating on the girl he cheated on me with, with well, me). But, do either of us care? Of course not.

So, here I am, waiting. Waiting to see if I'm going to be a good little girl and be faithful, or just do what my body is aching to do right now...mmm. I pick the latter. Let's just hope I get it, before I go crazy...

And let's also hope neither significant other finds out.

EDITED: If he doesn't stop calling me baby and punkin' I'm going to SCREAM! I miss him. I miss him so much and it ACHES everytime he does that...damn it! He just called again...said: "I know you still love me. I know you do...you wouldn't answer my calls if you didn't." More than that, but you get the point. He's right. And I hate him for it, I really do...anyway, got to pick him up some food and get on over there...yay. Why not just INVITE my heart to be ripped in two?