I miss him already. I haven't even gone to pick him up to take him to the airport and I already miss him. I'm so scared of being alone...who knows what I'll do to myself while I'm alone.

Well, at least I have plans for today and tomorrow. Tonight I have to pick Nino up in Pearland, drive to Alvin to pick up Nino's new "boyfriend", drive back to Houston (close to where I live) and drive back to those places all over again. I probably won't be home till about 4 a.m. Oh, and Gabe says he'll call and maybe catch up with us (I'm not holding my breath). Gabe will probably call me drunk sometime while Eben is gone and have me come over, which of course I will...and you know the rest. Maybe if I trusted Eben I wouldn't do that...but, with all the girls that are in love with him (3 now that I know of, I think...) I can't trust him. I just can't. So, that means I'll most likely end up cheating on him, whether it's with Gabe or someone else. Go figure.

Anyways, on Saturday it's dinner and a movie with my aunt...hopefully I can get some wine with her because I don't have nearly enough alcohol here...and then, after that, who knows. I'm making a to do list for this week to keep me from completely self-destructing:

Get furniture from parents, and finish unpacking shit onto it

Get tongue pierced (prevents me from purging, and bingeing as well)

Unpack all the little shit (tolietries, etc.)

Go to movies alone (maybe some alone time will do me good)

Write (haven't written anything but the shit in here lately)

Clean: vaccum, scrub, etc.

That's it so far...I'm trying to avoid buying the X pills (and I can't do them tonight since I'm driving anyway), at least until next Friday right before Eben gets back...I think it's a VERY bad idea for me to be out in public drunk or high...knowing me I'll either get arrested, fucked, or both. Ah, amazing how I'm capable of fucking up my life...

Oh, and speaking of that I'm taking another escorting job, and this time I'm getting on that plane, and no one's going to stop me. Of course I haven't told anyone yet, but hey, I'll find a time to tell Eben at least, and maybe Nino. So, as of October 10th, Washington, D.C., here I come!

Pfft...got to cut this short so I can get dressed and pick Eben up. I'm sure you're so sad I had to end this early...anyway, I'm sure I'll be posting a lot while Eben's gone, so look forward to many new entries coming...