Well, it's been a long weekend...not going to get too much into it because I still don't feel like writing.

Was at Gabe's Thursday night, came back Friday, got in a humongous screaming, crying fight with Eben, drove to Gabe's again after that (half-drunk on a bottle of red wine), and stayed there for two more nights, part of the time taking care of his adorable little girl. I just went to see Eben, and his sister and her two kids were there, although I didn't meet them. I'm supposed to call him at 3, so who knows.

I'm so exhausted. I barely eat but everytime I do make myself eat it's something fattening. My stomach just growls and growls but I have no appetite whatsoever.

I keep getting scared that I'm fucking up royally being around Gabe so much, hanging out with his brother and girlfriend, his daughter, his sister, and the rest of the immediate family...and of course sleeping with him still isn't exactly the best idea either. We act so much like we're together, it's really beginning to piss me off. He's been unusually nice...I don't really know what to think. Playing with his daughter all day yesterday didn't help things much either. Playing board games, coloring, teacher, "mom and sister" (she means daughter)...and she's gotten even more adorable. She's going to be one beautiful girl someday.

Anyway, so I'm off to pray to God that I'm not going to get pregnant with Gabe's child ever again, and that everything can work out with Eben without us hurting each other even more. A girl can hope, right?