Sorry I haven't updated, the phone line wasn't working.

Everything has changed. I am back at my parents. I am doing what they want, what everyone fucking wants but me. As of 10 am Thursday my child will be gone.

Eben and I broke up as well. We both cried this morning. Promised to keep in contact. He's going to Canada.

Gabe and I talk everyday. I'm getting my car back. I get to see him. It all seems so pointless now.

Forgive me for being cold but I have to or otherwise I'll fall apart. I'm already dying inside and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get over all of this, to pretend like everything's okay when nothing is. I may get Gabe and my parents back but I'm losing my baby and Eben.

I don't know how I'm going to survive this. I want nothing more than to be dead.