Despite my lack of writing, my life has not become completely boring. Well, for starters, my car was towed today because it wouldn't start. I am getting a rental though, thank God.

I have talked to Gabe a little bit, and it's really starting to get to me. I can't pretend like this is all nothing, that all this lying and deceit to Eben and to my parents is okay. It's not. Far from it. But how to you say to your boyfriend that the child that is in your body may not be his? How do you begin to tell your parents that?

Anyway, yesterday was better than last Sunday. I actually had fun at Outback after the soccer game (another loss). For awhile, I could forget all the crap going on in my head. I could pretend that Eben was my world, my only one. It was nice.

Off to go watch for the second time the O.C. dvd I bought and couldn't afford...sorry, I can't bear to bring out the thoughtful writing I was once once able to write. But I'm way too fucking tired...

EDITED: New Google searches that led to my diary-

Human doormat and I want to fuck my mom

Intresting, huh? Pfft...oh, and one more thing. A new picture of Eben. Don't even ask how this happened...let's just say it's what made my Sunday so much fun (sorry for the blurriness).