Okay, I'm calmer about actually being pregnant...but now it's who the father is that is stressing me out.

There's a small chance that it's Gabe's. Eben was gone for a week a few weeks ago, and even though he didn't come inside me there's still that wonderful chance that it's his. So, what do I do? Wait till I give birth and see the look on Eben's face when this baby isn't half-African, but half-Mexican?

I wanted to call Gabe this morning and tell him, but I didn't. I'm going to wait and see if I miscarry or not (but I'm going to be a lot more careful this time not to)...and then, who knows. I know that it's most likely Eben's because we've had like at least 10 times more sex than I did with Gabe last month (Gabe only 2 times) but I'm still scared shitless.

And most importantly of all, how am I going to tell my parents? Does Eben want to marry me (I know he's ready to start a family, his calmness about all this is pissing me off)? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this man, and if not that, always connected to him? And how am I going to go to school while Eben works if I have a baby to take care of?

I'm going to go eat and go back to sleep...I barely slept at all last night. Hopefully I can get some shut eye now...