546 calories yesterday and I'm not even hungry...I just want to binge out of anxiety. I'm so confused about A and this new guy...but at least Gabe didn't call. 2 other guys did though.

Should I just make myself restrict today? I don't know what do about anything anymore. I can't trust anyone. These guys, my parents...should I even trust the few friends I have left?

I just want to be happy. No more of this anxiety...I can't continue being this paranoid. Can't I just trust this new guy? He's just...too good to be true. Definitely too good to be true. And as for A...I don't even know what to say there. Surprise, surprise.

Off to go binge.

EDITED: New guy called to apologize for not calling me back last night..apparently felt really bad. Oh, and A just called when I got out of the shower with something to "discuss". I'm waiting for him to call me back...and today would have been Gabe and I's 2 year anniversary. Oh...today is going to be SO much fun...