I'm very very confused right now...a lot to write about but I'm not sure I should. I've had enough bad shit come out through an online diary (which means I must be stupid for having one right now)...

There's a new guy...several actually, but one that comes to mind right now. He's coming to see me this weekend, which will not be something I'll be able to hide from A...which means if this guy does come it's over with A. Is that a decision I'm willing to make?

As far as I can tell right now this guy is amazing...a gorgeous British-African guy with a good job, paints and writes, speaks several languages, has an amazing accent, is attentive and romantic, and, if I believe him, hasn't had sex in a year. He's said a few things that have caught me off guard though...several, actually...but two main important ones. One being that he's already telling me he loves me...and the other was the "jovial" conversation we had about having kids. Moving a bit fast, are we?

I don't get it...why some guys cling to me so fast. This one is even faster than usual...and it's not like I'm beautiful or something...hardly. I really, truly don't get it. I guess I'll see this weekend if this guy is for real or not.

Oh, and Gabe is still calling. He's called the past 2 days...both very sexual calls. It's aggravating...I don't know what to do. It's getting out of hand...I can't be that to him. I want to be loved, emotionally and sexually...and I can't get that from him. I'm not the fuck buddy type anymore (although with all the guys I'm talking to I'm starting to wonder)...

Anyway, I'm going to go finish my convo with the "new guy" (no names revealed yet...not like anyone reads this though) and try and get a bit more shut eye since I barely slept last night. Then, off to get my books for class...my "real" college life starts (not the pathetic summer one). Oh, joy...