So, after a few days of nothing, Gabe called, at 3 in the morning, completely fucked up out of his mind. I honestly don't know how he even dialed the numbers on the phone, he was that fucked up. I of course ended up listening to his ramblings about his "stupid cunt" (I hate that word) ex-girlfriend Katie. They broke up last week, which he never told me about. This means I was cheating on my boyfriend, and he was cheating on no one. And here I was, trying to make myself feel better thinking it was mutual cheating.

Anyway, he just called again, asking if and when he'd called last night. He was still buzzing, of course. I don't know why I even answer his calls anymore...oh, wait. I do know why. Because I still love him. And yes, I know I've been over this before. I just need reminding sometimes.

Oh, I did talk to Eben last night though. I don't remember why he wasn't answering his phone (bad reception in Boston?) but I don't really care. I do miss him though. Is it possible to be in love with two people at once, or am I just fooling myself? I probably am. I do that a lot, as you probably know already.

My weight is down to an exact 123, although I don't really trust that scale. It gave Eben two readings, one around 147 and one around 151...which of course is ALL muscle (he is only 5'5 after all). Oh well. I know I look skinnier and that's all that matters...after how sick I got when the laxes finally kicked in, I better be skinnier. It's a good thing I have a high tolerance for pain, otherwise I would have been crying like a baby. I just know I can't wait to get under 120 again. And then, who knows. I just hope I don't get stuck writing all the "I'm so fat and miserable" stuff I did in my miagoddessdiary (or have to delete 4 months worth of entries, thanks to Azrel finding the diary). Gotta love it.

Anyways, I'm off to get dressed and go tan for a bit, and rent some movies before going to see Wimbelton and have dinner with my parents and aunt. Ah, the exciting life I lead. Honestly though, I'd rather have my biggest drama be Gabe calling me drunk and missing Eben, because I can't take the other drama anymore. I am asking for it though, trying to get an escorting job...figures.

What's that cliche I'm thinking of? Oh yeah. "Be careful what you wish for..."